Pilgrimage into Mystery | Sicamous United Church

the `joy’ of being brothers

Based on Genesis 32:1 – 33:4

It was a long rough night for Jacob and this night had been a long time in coming. You can only run away for so long before you find you are chasing yourself. He has sent his wives and children and all his worldly possessions on ahead of him. He is unarmed and alone and he doesn’t know if the morning with bring reconciliation or slaughter. Jacob struggling with what he will hold on to, and what he will let go. His trouble started so many years ago when he wanted more than he was entitled to; and with some coaxing by his mother Rebecca, he cheated his brother Esau out of what was rightfully (at least culturally) his.

In the long night, he wrestles with someone. The scriptures in their original language are wonderfully vague about whom he is wrestling with – is it God, an angel, Esau, his own conscience, his fears, all of the above? Somehow, God is in that struggle. Ralph Milton writes: “At the heart of the Judeo-Christian tradition is this unique notion. Faith is a struggle, a wrestling match… We wrestle with God, and in the process learn to know ourselves. This story gives us a good opportunity to think about the wrestling matches we’ve been avoiding – the truth about ourselves we’ve been running away from. The great thing about this wrestling match: there is no loser. If God wins, we win. But always, if we have wrestled honestly and hard, we find ourselves, like Jacob, limping into our future.”

I asked Ralph to preach at my covenanting service 10 years ago when I went to Merritt, and at the end of his message, Ralph gave me his cane. “You’re going to need this”, he told me, knowing the struggle will leave its mark… Oh and it did! And it has! And it will. And… it’s always worth it when we honestly face our limits, our fears, and the fears and limitations of others and still choose to show up and live our lives with as much integrity as possible.

I don’t think that blessings come `disguised’ as pain and hardship, loss, guilt or grief. When the bottom falls out of our carefully constructed world, we might want indeed to say, “What fresh hell is this?!’ But then, whatever it is, whatever has gone on to lead us to this holy struggle, we, like Jacob can be bold enough to say, `I will not let you go until you bless me.’ I’d love to know if the word for blessing here is the same Aramaic word that I learned in Palestine – where `blessed’ is not a passive word, but means to set oneself on the right way for the right goal, to get up , do something, move. Jacob moves into a new way of being and it changes him, right down to his name, as he is now known as `Israel’, one who struggles with God and humanity, and yet lives.

I think much of the unnecessary suffering in the world comes from not wrestling with God, and our own humanity.

We hear the story from Jacob’s perspective, but what about Esau? I want to know of his spiritual journey. Did he plan his revenge over and over again? Did he beat himself up for letting his stomach rule his head all those years ago? What was his relationship with his mother and father like after Jacob left home? When did he come to the realization that `life is what you make it’ and he wasn’t going to make it with victim stamped on his forehead. When did he decide to live into the future, unafraid and unresentful? When did he decide that he may have been cheated out of his father’s blessing, but that life itself is a blessing? When did he decide to try forgiveness?

On Friday night, as I stood at the kitchen counter, shelling a huge bag of walnuts that Grace, from the Thrift Shop had given me, I chanced upon an archival interview on CBC radio. It was about a man’s reaction when he found out his son’s killer in the Iraqi war had been killed. Michael Berg, felt compassion for this young man who had killed his son, he had forgiven him, and he felt compassion for his family and sadness that they too had lost a son. Peter Katz, a Canadian musician heard the original interview in 2007 and wrote a song about it. These are Peter’s words:

As many of you know, my song ‘Forgiveness’ was inspired by an interview I heard on CBC’s ‘As it Happens’ with a man (Michael Berg) who chose forgiveness instead of hatred in the face of the most trying of circumstances: the kidnapping and murder of his son Nicholas in Iraq. The song was written to get his message out to as many people as possible, especially knowing that he had been persecuted for his courageous position, even shot at.
On Tuesday I got a call from ‘As It Happens’ and they interviewed me about the song and then played that interview paired up with Michael’s on the evening program. Sitting there in my car, listening to the 2 stories come together was without a doubt the most rewarding moment of my life/career. I know that so many of you have helped spread the message and I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. Thank you also to everyone who heard the interview and sent me such wonderful emails. It is so encouraging to know that his message is getting out there. Despite all the horrible things we hear about on a daily basis, there is so much more goodness and humanity happening.

I put the words to Peter’s song on the back of the bulletin, and encourage you to type in his name on your computer and listen to the song there. It’s very powerful.

Forgiveness:

You ask me to explain it Well there’s everything and nothing to say

Some things they happen – and once they do they never go away

They tell you that this life is eye for eye
Well man you know I think that’s all a lie
Oh I will not stoke the fire of this fight, when I know it isn’t right

So I guess I’m going to have to try forgiveness
‘Cause man you know it’s all that I’ve got left
My boy did not deserve this, but neither do the rest
I guess I’m going to have to try forgiveness

You can call me a coward – Call me whatever you chose
Once you could have hurt me – But now, I’ve nothing left to lose

Go on and spite me ’cause I will not curse his name
Tell me though I’m broken, I am to blame
Well go on, but I won’t participate, in spreading all this hate

They shot at me for speaking out against this tired war
Said “How can you lose one life and not demand one more?”
Well what good will it do us in the end?
There’s nothing that should justify revenge
And I stand now here before you
Living out the hardest test
And still I swear the only answer is: …forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Oh you know we’ve got to try forgiveness
‘Cause man you know it’s all that we’ve got left
Our boys and girls are watching and they’ve put us to the test
Come let’s show them forgiveness, Forgiveness